A Gay Conservative On Gay Marriage

I refrain from discussing gay issues here on my blog most of the time.  There are issues that are of greater importance to me that I put most of my energy into, but I feel compelled at this time to say something on the matter of gay marriage.  It angers me when Muslims do not decry the actions of radical Muslims and so I feel that it is my responsibility to criticize my fellow gay brothers and sisters when they are out of line.  Some of them have crossed the line in their protests in California over Proposition 8.  I believe that everyone has a right to peacably demonstrate.  That includes both Californians that are against Proposition 8 and those that are for it.  The video that has been circulating the internet and TV showing gay protestors being aggressive with an elderly woman are deplorable.  I am a Christian before all things.  Yes, many will say that a gay person cannot be a Christian, but I disagree and that is a topic for another time.  My point is that watching someone rip a cross from another person’s hands, throw it to the ground and stomp on it brings up the same horrified reaction in me as it does in other Christians.  It was completely inappropriate.  Getting in the elderly woman’s face and screaming at her and acting aggressive with her does not win our side any points.  Plowing inside churches to demonstrate during services is inappropriate.  You just look like a bunch of idiots and once again I feel ashamed to be part of the homosexual “club”.  We don’t all act this way.  During Gay Pride in Denver our parade would go past a Catholic Basilica.  The parade was always on a Sunday and so services would be conducting at the same time as the parade.  We would always walk by quietly, waiting to be more jubilant until we passed by.

So what is my opinion on gay marriage?  Let me start by revealing that I voted “no” on Amendment 2 here in Florida which defined marriage as something that can only be between one man and one woman.  You may be thinking “of course”, but I didn’t vote against this amendment because I’m for gay marriage.  I am against gay marriage.  I’m also against straight marriage.  Let me clarify.  Marriage is a priviledge, not a right.  Marriage has no place in the Constitution, period.  Just as universal health care has no place in the Constitution.  Since Amendment 2 wanted to put marriage in the Constitution and I believe that to be unConstitutional, I voted it down.  Amendment 2 also overreached in that it went on to say that no other union could be recognized.  This makes me think that same sex benefits could be taken away as well as benefits for adult family members.  I also voted “no” for those reasons.

I believe that marriage is a spiritual thing.  Adam and Eve were married and didn’t have all this paperwork to prove it.  Government should have nothing to do with marriage.  In our era, though, no paperwork is impractical because of taxes and inheritance and other issues.  I believe strongly in civil unions – civil unions for everyone.  A contractual relationship if you will.  Everyone knows how difficult it is to get out of contracts.  Perhaps people would think twice before getting married if they had to sign a contract.  Perhaps the dismal record of success that straight people have with marriage would improve.

Now I know that most Christians have a real issue with gay marriage and civil unions, but you need to step outside of that thinking for a moment and remember that we have a 14th Amendment to the Constitution:

No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

Churches have feared that they will be required to marry gay people if gay marriage is passed.  For me personally, I would not want to get married in a place that would not have me and I believe most gays feel that way.  I have had a ceremony in a church and consider myself “married” in God’s eyes because I made vows before Him and have stuck to them for 14 years now.  Being “together” in the secular world has been more difficult because of all the paperwork that needs to be done to get the same priviledges that straight marriages guarantee automatically.  I believe it should take the same paperwork for all people.  It really would be to the benefit of straight marriages as well.  Counseling before marriage leads to stronger long lasting marriage and how much more would extra paperwork prove commitment?  And despite the fearmongering, gay people raising children does not damage them.  There are no studies to prove it and in a world where so many children need homes, the idea of banning gay adoption, as Arkansas did, is idiotic.

I know most of my fellow conservatives will not agree with me.  But if we are Constitutionalists there is no other way to see the issue.  True conservativism comes from a “live and let live” ideal.  Over at The Little Cog Blog (http://littlecog.com/) the author said:

“If religious organizations wish to protect their views on the sanctity of marriage, they may do so outside the realm of Government.  If gay couples wish to marry and create a family, they may also do this outside the realm of Government.  Governments are not moral entities…they are simply not equipped to tell us right from wrong.”

I couldn’t agree more.  Especially when we have witnessed what evil governments have considered wrong and right throughout history.


3 responses to “A Gay Conservative On Gay Marriage

  1. I appreciate your viewpoint. It’s good to hear a calm, rational explanation from your perpective. It’s a tough issue.

    From a Catholic standpoint, marriage is based on Biblical principles and is so important in the Church that it is one of the sacraments. So, that may have something to do with reluctance to re-define marriage itself, (as opposed to the separate civil union thing.) This is not my expertise, trust me.

    Anyway, it’s frustrating when part of one’s “group” misbehaves because it reflects only a small number of people within the group, and then invites generalizations about everyone. I’ve been there, trust me.

  2. You can imagine what most gay people think of me. Friends of my partner and I acted like we had leprosy when they heard we voted for McCain. I didn’t bother to tell them that it was a hard decision to make, not because he was Republican, but because I don’t think he is a conservative. I might have been tarred and feathered!

  3. I applaud your sincere and rational sentiments on a very sensitive issue. In my humble opinion, I beleive it shows alot of charachter when mankind shows its ability to questions such Government “Activities” even when it would be so naturally acceptable for society to box you in and “count” on your vote based on appearance (I am black/bi-racial man who NEVER would have voted for Obama).


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s