Unless you have spent the last couple of days in a remote location like the middle of the Sahara or, say, Mars, you have either seen or heard Paris Hilton’s campaign ad. Now at first the idea seems preposterous, but after getting past the little digs at John McCain’s age, I started to be won over. When faced with the following names on the ballot: Obama, McCain and Hilton, Hilton is a shoe-in.
First of all, the girl can read a teleprompter. McCain stumbles around leading many to believe he is senile when he reads off the teleprompter. Secondly, she has been well vetted. We already know her faults so there can be no October surprise. We know she is a convicted felon who has done time, we know about the sex tape and we know she has no experience in the world of work as long as you don’t consider “The Simple Life” series work. We also know she has no talent as revealed in her music recordings and acting. Thirdly, she has some great policy ideas as stated in her campaign ad. Her energy ideas run circles around Obama’s particularly since we can’t seem to figure out what Obama’s policy is since it changes on an hourly basis. Fourthly, most men consider Paris Hilton to be hot and she refers to herself this way in the ad. Talk about having an advantage when talking to world leaders. I bet she could get even the toughest dictator to agree to anything.
But the thing that really won me over is the simple fact that Hilton is a dunder head who has never, and will never, work a day in her life. If she runs the country the way she ran this ad – sipping something cool by the pool – then nothing will get done in Washington. Bills will sit unsigned. And with the policies that McCain and Obama are pushing forward, having a President who really does absolutely nothing over the next four years would be a positive.
So I endorse Paris Hilton for President!