What a Great Day For My Money

As the people in the “know” continue to promise me that my money is safe and as President Bush put it today that we are not “technically” in a recession I feel just great about my money.  Why should I worry?  After all gold hit a first-time high of 1,000 today.  Wait a minute…I just remembered that the dollar is not invested or backed by gold and that it is really backed by the United State’s obligations (read that as debt).  And just because the dollar has hit a 12 year low doesn’t mean I should panic.  I mean oil was up to $110 a barrel today – oh wait, that means I pay more at the pump right?  But the FED did something really great yesterday remember?  They dumped $200 billion in lending to banks to be spread over the next 28 days.  Where did the money come from?  Well, they print it for goodness sake so they can make as much as they want – who cares if that causes prices to soar.

Yeah, so I’m not worried about a recession.  What do you mean rising oil and gas prices and a weak dollar signal inflation?  No way- my milk doesn’t cost me anymore than it did a few months ago – okay so maybe it is more expensive.  Wait a minute, someone says I should use a different word than inflation – what is stagflation?  I need a set of bellbottoms to remember what that is since we haven’t seen that since the 70s?!

Well, thank God the Congress is here to make me feel better.  After all, they are going to vote for a pork spending moratorium.  What do you mean that won’t take place until the dead of night tonight so the people don’t know what is going on and perhaps Hillary and Obama won’t have to vote on it?  And what did I just hear?  The Senate rejected an attempt to make the Bush tax cuts for the middle class and higher-income taxpayers permanent!  That can’t be possible – the liberals are all about helping the middle class.  I’ve heard that for weeks now.  What do you mean that this could effect people making as little as $31,850 a year?  Liberals only want to tax the rich.  Hmm…so I guess I was confused when I stated in another post that you must be rich if you make over $75,000.  You’re really rich if you make over $31,000.  Wow, I feel so good about the future when I look at the economy and our possible future president.  I think I’ll go slit my wrists.


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